How to Use Your Intuition In Your Business and Live the Life of Your Dreams with Dr. Melissa Bird
Welcome to this episode of The Determined Mom Show. I have the fabulous Dr. Melissa Bird with me, and she is the CEO of natural born Rebel. I’m very excited to talk about this because it’s something that we as women probably should do naturally, but we oftentimes are trained not to, just by society.
I am Dr. Melissa Bird, and I am a. Speaker and a life coach, and I run a company called Natural Born Rebel, and I’m entering into my fifth year of business, which just seems so bananas to me that I made it
That’s awesome. Congratulations. I know. It’s like that. What is it? 90% of businesses fail within the first five years, so yeah, that’s a big milestone.
I’ve gotten over the hump. I’m very, very excited about it and I help women harness the power of their intuition and their inner rebel to make a difference in their lives and their communities.
I think that there, so the thing I love about it. Helping women learn how to identify their intuition is we’ve got our gut instinct and then we have our intuition. So our gut instinct is that thing that you were just talking about where you’re like, ah, I just have a yucky feeling about this, or I have a great feeling about this.
Like sometimes we focus so much on ours. Are like, oh my gosh, I’m so worried about those feelings that we forget that we also get gut feelings that say, follow that, you know, follow that trail to joy. But our intuition is something that comes in moments when we are not distracted. So oftentimes it’ll come in the middle of the night.
Let’s do this. And then what happens is your brain jumps in Amanda and goes, oh no, that’s a terrible idea. We’re gonna die and you can’t take that risk. And what happens if we do this and we fail and then our intuition goes, but what happens if we do it and we succeed?
Or what happens if we do it and we change the course of history or what happens if we do it? And so and so our brain says we can’t take that risk because what happens if our intuition says, let’s take that risk because it’s gonna be super.
Because it will change things or because it will help things. And so I think what happens often is that we think in our brains. Is giving us good advice for protection purposes, but that’s just the ego getting in the way, and we are meant to take risks. We are meant to experiment.
Well, if you think about it, Amanda, what if you never would’ve listened to your intuition, say, listen, we ought to do this podcast and help people in this way, like, what if you wouldn’t have listened?
It wasn’t like you woke up one morning when you were like 10 and you were like, you know what, someday I’m gonna be a famous podcaster and I’m gonna run this business and it’s gonna be super amazing.
That’s not how this works, right? And so it’s really about listening to those little nudges, watching for the synchronicities. Like oftentimes coincidences will happen and you’ll hear the same message from multiple places. And you’ll be like, oh. Oh, okay. And if it places that don’t connect, I always say that’s God talking.
It’s not people talking like, The universe is bananas that way. So people who are not connected but are in your life or you’ll see billboards and then someone will say something and then you gotta watch for those coincidences cuz that is your intuition talking.
How can we clear a little bit of space for that quiet listening time?
Well, so you don’t clear the space. So that’s the first thing. There’s, you, you listen for it at random times. For example, I get a lot of stuff in the shower. Like when I’m washing my hair. Yeah, I’ll get an idea and be like, oh, that’s genius. So it’s not that I scheduled aside five minutes to take a shower.
That happens eventually too. So, but like it’s a pick, it’s noticing those moments. And the other thing that I teach all of my clients is to breathe with intention. So when we very first get on the phone, I will have my clients take a big, deep breath into their nose, out through their mouth, just like this.
All it takes is that, to ground you, to tether you, and to allow random musings to come on. And we can do that. I mean, you saw how it just shifted. And so we can do that multiple times a day and nobody knows what we’re doing. And as soon as we ground ourselves in that way, the information can just stop, and start pouring in.
And so it takes not it, what it is about is not listening to your brain quite so much. So it’s about identifying, oh, I’m super anxious right now. Like really, really super anxious. I’m just gonna take a deep breath and look at what I’m trying to control. Because we have no control. That’s a total illusion.
Look at what I’m trying to like, you know what? Do you remember that game Whack-a-Mole? Like what are we trying to push down? Throughout the day where we can go, oh, actually this is not my stuff. Yeah. And, and it’s, and that creates the opening for your intuition to come in to have the great idea for your business.
I think that another thing that’s important for moms who are running businesses is for them to remember that we are not supposed to be working an eight-hour day. Nobody works an eight-hour day. It’s an illusion. When people go to the office, they have to take mandatory breaks. They have to take a lunch break, they’re wandering around having coffee.
They’re, you know, going to different cubicles and visiting different things, and they’re in these meetings, they only work like three hours a day. That’s the case. And we’re all here wanting this freedom of running our businesses and being at home. Then the first thing to do is listen to your intuition, and tell you when you work the best.
Are you a morning person, an afternoon person, or a night person? I have one client who is a night person and her best work happens after midnight. And so I shifted, but she was trying to take 8:00 AM meetings. And I’m like, why are you doing that? And she’s like, well, that’s when people work. But you run your own business, you get to do whatever you want.
What do you want? And she’s like, like, well, I don’t even get up until 10. And I was like, okay. So your first phone call is at noon? And she’s like, I can do that. Because if your genius happens at night, then why would you wanna schedule an eight o’clock phone call? You can do whatever you want.
And you’re not gonna be at the top of your, you know, your peak performance or your, even your sharpness, your zone of genius sharpness. You’re not gonna be in your zone of genius if you are trying to force yourself into a working world. We run our businesses because we want the freedom of being able to take care of our kids.
And make our own money and be our boss and do all of, I mean, we all have a million reasons why we are moms who run businesses. So why are we trying to conform to some stupid standard of the corporate that we ran screaming from? Why would we do that? That’s so true.
When I used to work at the credit union, I was like trapped in a grocery store because my branch was in a grocery store. So I was like, trapped in this store if the other there was no other manager on, I literally couldn’t even go outside of the branch.
I had to, you know, I could go to the bathroom, but I had to like, go get food and come right back, you know, like I couldn’t even leave. It was so kind of really sad and like, I felt like a prisoner, you know? And now I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, and do whatever during the day. Like it’s, it’s amazing.
And set some business hours for yourself, right? like the greatest piece of advice, I ever got from my coach. Also, hire a coach, honestly. Have a support system. Get a VA and get a coach. So you have some people to talk to that can get you out of your head and get you being productive. But you know, the greatest piece of advice I ever got from my coach was to set business hours. She’s like, when are you working?
And I’m all working. What? And she’s like, girl, set your business hours. And I only. Like four hours a day. And I don’t work every day because I have set aside time for writing and all the other things that I want to do in my life. And since I have this incredibly abundant, beautiful business, I get to do whatever I want.
And your intuition will tell you to like, you know how, you know, you’ve been getting the messages from multiple sources that say this is what we ought to be doing. And you’re like, oh no, no. That doesn’t follow the rules. And like if you are a woman, Who is a mother who is running a business, you’re already breaking all the rules.
Well, so I have a couple of different things coming up. One is Rebel School. I teach Rebel School a couple of times a year, and it is an 18-week program for 10 women where. It’s all online. And the first six weeks we dig into healing, rebellion, shame, and wounds.
So we dig into the messages that we receive about, that shame us and wound us to hide our rebellion or to hide. And for those of you who are out there who are thinking, I’m not a rebel. Like I follow all the rules, that’s also rebellion.
Like I had one client who was like, but like, She’s like, you talk all the time about how you were the super rebel, like skipping school and smoking cigarettes, you know? I was like the hardcore heavy metal quintessential, eighties rocker chick. But she’s like, but I got straight A’s and I played, you know.
I played by all the rules. I didn’t break the rules. And I was like, but isn’t that in and of itself a rebellion? like, what were the other people in your high school doing? And she’s like, oh my god, they weren’t doing that too. They are rebels too. And so I think we also, part of Rebel school, are redefining what it means to be a rebel.
And, women, by our very nature, are rebellious. I mean, we create humanity. Yeah. Like how rebellious is that? It’s the nature of who we are. We create human beings and, so there and, and also we can choose not to. Be mothers, right? Yeah. Like, or we choose to mother in a million different ways.
So anyway, we heal that rebel shame of wounding. And then the next six weeks are about taking inspired, intentional action. Because one of the things I see all the time with the women that I work with is that. They think, oh, I just gotta take action. I just gotta do something. And when it doesn’t come from that space of inspired intention, we don’t get clarity from a space of inspired intention.
And then we don’t build our confidence from a place of inspiration. And so we learn how to take inspired, intentional action and learn what it is that you’re passionate about, so that every time you take an action, it’s from a space of what you are here to do.
And then the last six weeks are all about learning the ex, the tools to use your intuition because you gotta heal your wounds before you can tap into that intuitive spirit.
So how to, discernment. Learn how to use your intuition and learn how to dig into the tools that you need to use as a part of your daily living. So that’s what that is. And you get four one-on-one coaching sessions with me when you do rebel school. So it’s so beautiful. It’s the most beautiful thing ever.
It’s really, it is beautiful. It is a deeply transformative experience. And then I’m also teaching a four-week class about embodying the heart of the warrior. And so I have created, I have a piece of art that was created by an artist named Thunder Voice, Eagle. I think that’s his name.
And it’s this beautiful wood carving of a heart, and he talks about the heart of the warrior and it’s, it’s the eighth embodiment of the warrior. So courage, um, love, compassion, humility. And it’s a four-week course where we take two of, the concepts and dig into how we can use those for transformative leadership in ours.
Because the other thing is moms don’t think they’re leaders. I have a friend who does leadership coaching and she’s, you know, these moms keep saying, well, I’m not a leader. You’re like leading everything I know. Like you lead kids. I know exactly everything you lead it to.
So I really, I’m excited about that class. Um, for a couple of reasons because it intersects a lot of different things that happen in the spring. Because we have the spring Equinox, we also have Easter, we also have the Lenten season.
Because that is going to, so Rebel School starts January 27th and it’s 18 weeks. And then and I have, I still have some spots available for that. And then the next one will be in the fall. Usually, we start around September, and then, um, the heart of the warrior starts on March 20th and it’s, every Sunday for four Sundays. And then I’m always doing, I offer misfit magic hour reading.
So if you have an issue that you want clarity on and you just wanna spend an hour with me, you can sign up for Misfit Magic Hour where we do coaching and clarity. And then I read cards so that you can get a really clear picture of what it is that you, um, are seeking on like one or two issues that have been plaguing you and you just want clarity on this.
Is there anything else that you wanna share with us about following our intuition?
I wanna play off of what you just said about everything going awry, right? Sometimes people just get excited about being around us and nothing is wrong. So your phone rings while we’re recording the podcast. Your kiddo coming in while we’re recording the podcast. You know, we think everything in our lives has to go perfectly and if there’s anything we’ve learned since the Covid Pandemic started, it’s that we have no control. We want y’all to hear this.
We have no control. And when we try to resist the change and when we try to force ourselves through stuff, it gets us out of alignment with our source and with who we are. And I’m covered in chills as I’m saying it, so I know this is good. Juicy stuff. this is good, juicy stuff. We have the opportunity.
To just let it all go. So our kids are coming in and out. Isn’t it amazing that we even have them in the first place? So Dom barks while we. You know, in the middle of working with a client or whatever it is, okay, well, we have dogs like we have forgotten that we are humans on a journey, right? We have set these rules and these structures about what perfection looks like and it doesn’t exist.
We aren’t meant to be perfect. If you look at anything in nature, you wouldn’t walk up to your favorite waterfall and be like, well, you’re flowing nicely, but if you could just move a little more to the right, that would be great. That’s perfect all the time. There is no such thing as perfection.
So I think the message that I want to get across to people is just to allow this to flow. My business works so much better when I’m not trying to figure out where every last detail is going to come from. When I stopped controlling where the money was coming from, I started making more money.
When I stopped wondering how I was gonna get my message out, I got invited to start doing podcast interviews in the most random places, and that’s how I started getting. When I started listening to those coincidental messages, that’s really when stuff started to flow. And you know what the best part is?
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about something I was nervous about. Like I was just really feeling very insecure about it. Because yes, even we have ins, even the greatest coaches in the world still have insecurities. That’s because you’re human and bananas, and so, My son looked over.
I was sitting in a chair across the living room. My son was in the dining room eating, and he looked at me and he went, he threw me out. To me. And he is like, but mom, and I don’t even remember what he said, but I would look at him and he’s like, I listened to everything you say, mom.
And so if we are saying to ourselves in front of our children, I can’t do this. I don’t know what I’m doing. This is too much for me, I should give up. What are we teaching our kids? So let’s start, start saying, this is complicated and I’m gonna find a solution. It’s not either or, it’s both.
And if this can, running a business can be both. The greatest thing we’ve ever done and the most frustrating thing we’ve ever done. It’s almost guaranteed for both a mom and a business owner.
We can be both a wife and business owners. We can be both a partner and business owners. Like we can be anything we want to be. And if we stop that forcing and start paying attention to what we’re saying. It changes the whole game.
I love that. That’s such a great reminder and maybe even not a reminder for some, but the first time they’ve ever been, you know, heard that, so it’s awesome. Well, I appreciate you so much and I appreciate all of your wisdom and everything that you’ve shared with us today. So where is the best place for everyone to find you?
The best place to find me online is either on my firstname.lastname@example.org, or I have a really good time on Instagram right now. I’m digging it so you can find me on Instagram at Bird girl, B I R D G I R L 1 0 0 1. Awesome. Thank you, Dr. Bird. Thank you so much. It’s nice seeing you. You too
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