How to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to relieve anxiety in you and your kids with Mary Phelan

How to use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to relieve anxiety in you and your kids with Mary Phelan

Welcome to episode 38 of The Determined Mom Show. Today we have a very special guest, Mary feeling on. She has 20 years of experience in telepathic television. She has been hosting a show with her co-partner. They have produced over 1200 hours of live television. So what telepathic TV is a live metaphysical, spiritual talk show, and they do a variety of topics from EFT to, I let Mary tell you all about them. 

But today, she will be sharing some emotional Freedom Techniques with us and how you can use those for yourself and your children. So very excited to have Mary on welcome. Well, thank you. It’s an honor to be on. So thank you for inviting me. I’m super excited to have you here. This is a topic that I’ve done research on.

I have an app on my phone that I like to try to use and that thing. But I’m bad about it. I need to use this technique. So I’m very excited to have you on and have you talking about it. How did you get started, and what was all this like as a mother? How did you get started working, you know, for yourself and on the TV? I’m sure you have an amazing story.

Well, when we first talked, and I looked back on it, it is one of those things that it wouldn’t logically make sense that I would start where I started and end up where I am because it’s just, it shows you how this divine intervention comes and guides us where we’re supposed to be. And that it’s always going to do that. You can fight against it and try to make it happen, but it will happen in Divine Order. 

Well, I got married way back in 1974. And early on in the marriage, my husband developed a mental illness. And so things got really bad back then, when you got married, you were expecting to stay married, be the housewife and PTA and things like that.

And so I found myself with a three-year-old and a one-year-old, with my husband completely incapacitated because he had attempted suicide. And he didn’t die. But at that time he has passed now just recently, like in 1981. You know, it’s interesting because just even talking about personal things, you know, I could do some EFT because I don’t usually talk about it. 

But anyway, I found myself with No high school diploma because I got married out on the street. After all, I got evicted. And pretty much everything we owned wasn’t much; I was in a dumpster because that’s how eviction happens. So I may have moved into my mother’s for a short time with a trash bag of clothes and toys for my two kids. And it was literally that everything else was gone.

I remember sitting there one night, and we didn’t even have a bed. We were sleeping on the floor, and in one of her empty bedrooms, I remember thinking, What do I have to do? I have to get my kids a healthy environment, a happy environment. And so I made a list. I said, Well, I have to get a driver’s license and a car. I have to get my GED. I have to find a job. And many troubling things had happened prior, but this is where I took my life into my own hands and said, I have to do these things. 

And this feeling overcame me: I knew if I could define what it was, I would reach the goal if I worked toward it daily. So I had the list. I got a job as a waitress and worked my way up to being an assistant manager and manager. All that waitress work was hard because I often did two full-time jobs, trying to get on my feet, but I did. I put the list there. I put it in an envelope and didn’t think about it. And the next thing I knew, everything was unfolding. 

I worked, I got a car. I said I would take my GED and see how hard it was. I took it; I passed it with flying colors. The first time I worked my way up, I got the car I got on my feet. And then, I worked in that restaurant for several years. And I might have shared this with you before. It was pretty grueling work. It wasn’t like a nice restaurant where you made a lot of money, and I certainly needed to make more to pay for my apartment and everything.

And I think a lot of mothers, especially working mothers but not only working mothers, mothers in general, want to provide what they can provide for their kids. You want them to have a better life than you. So you get this, like maybe divine guidance or this divine push to do things for them that you couldn’t do for yourself.

And I just knew that somehow I would get out of that. So at that point, I would go to work. Intuitively connect with people. And this does lead to empty. I’m a very compassionate person. And I used that energy to connect with people and understand each table that came in, like some of their hardships, which I didn’t know then.

 But that was almost like pre-on-the-job training to do what I do now. And I had no idea. And that’s why it’s important. If you feel trapped in a dynamic where you can’t get out, you can’t do these things. Everything that comes to you and where you’re going to be led is showing up in your life right now in the things that come to you that cross your path. So I worked there for another X number of years after that. And one day, I was trying to get everything in order. 

I was getting my kid’s encyclopedia Because back then, you had to drive them to the library to do research. You remember those days. So I put a goal of getting a set of encyclopedias. And so I worked an extra day for six months to pay 1600 dollars for these encyclopedias, which was a fortune back then. And a friend of mine sent this investment person where you can save $50 a month and whatever that was. And so she came by the house. She said, What are you doing working in this restaurant? 

You seem to have a better intelligence than that. There needs to be an intelligence level for working in restaurants. But she wrote that I had something else that was more suited for me, a much better way of putting that. And so she said, I’m going to take your resume to this recruiter I know, and I said, I honestly didn’t even understand what a resume was. So I am trying to remember what happened, and this is how profound, destined change happens in your life. 

You find yourself here, and then you find yourself over there. You don’t even remember what came. But the next thing I knew, she had helped me get a resume to this recruiter. And they offered me a job as a receptionist and an IT company. And it was like, I was scared because I had something familiar, and at least I gained seniority there. And I remember fretting over that for the whole weekend. I drove my friends crazy. 

Do you think I should do this? It was comparing apples and oranges. And then, the morning she called, I decided I couldn’t do this. It’s too stressful. And anybody out there with kids’ notes was that you wait to make changes later. You want to keep a stable base. But I remember picking up the phone, and she said do you? This is how long ago it was because we had phones like that attached to the wall. I thought a very short cord.

Probably. She said, What do you take the job in my mouth just said yes. And it’s something that I wanted to share with you and your listeners that it’s like your mouth knows the answers. But the decision is an active verb. It’s like you find yourself sitting there. I just said yes. And I took the job. And that led me to a 13-year career in which I worked my way up to an IT director. From down as a receptionist. I taught myself all the programming and everything the programmers were learning behind the locked door.

And they just kept giving me the opportunity. Because I just wanted that; I wanted it for my kids. And sometimes we can want things for our kids and get past blocks that if it’s just for us, it’s harder like I was saying earlier, it was like a divinely led thing. I worked my way up to a 25,000-person company as an IT director, but I still needed a college degree. I taught myself networking, software, and hardware maintenance. I had people working for me; I designed counting systems. So to do that, I had to learn to account.

I didn’t have child support. I was on deck for everything. So I couldn’t just go to work. But I had to take care of my father. And we didn’t have money to put him in a nursing home. So I ended up buying his dilapidated house, so we had the funds to put them in a nursing home. 

But it was through that period. And my kids coming of age, graduating high school, and moving on to college, I knew this was my calling for now, but there was another calling years prior when I was still working at that restaurant. I have always known there was something more. And we all go through that whether we find it in religion, or we find it in psychology, or we find it in science.

We’re looking for the thing greater than us. And one day, I was waiting on tables, and this man was reading an intriguing book. It was called the nature of personal reality by Jane Roberts, eat your reality. This is really what I’m interested in; I need to know because I want to be a doctor. 

And that was the precursor to me having that epiphany in the parking lot that day. It’s like, I just realized I connected with my way to the spirit and the universe and that we all have to find our own. It just started unfolding. So fast forward to about the year 1997 ish. My sons were going off to college, and my father was nearing the end of his life. And at that time, I was still doing side work in my main job, but I was working my way up to what had been a goal. 

My interest in psychology and understanding emotions, my years of computer logic, because we are computers, and that has helped me immensely in my EFT practice. Because everything is as simple as an if-then statement, if you have this belief as a child that you can’t succeed, then you will have a problem following. And so I started looking at people’s problems emotionally and set in their mental blocks and everything that has an improper computer reference. 

You filled it out with a spiritual quest and their emotional component to it too. And all of a sudden, instant immediate transformation happens. And I work with many children of all age groups, which we can discuss. About in a minute, I may have some techniques to share with your kids. But I wanted to say one thing. I just got the guidance to say this: when your children are young babies, and they get colic, and you combine that with no sleep, and the stress of, oh my gosh, this new little life is all count counting on me. It’s all. It’s all me. I’m on deck. I can’t get away from this. 

So all of your stress from your history starts coming in. People often find that unresolved issues from their childhood may come up, and it just gets overwhelming. And you find yourself tensing up at the sound of the crying when it can’t stop. There was something that came to me back when my younger son had allergies, and so had a lot of colics and everything. 

And I remember being tense once, it’s like oh, and then this feeling came in. I expanded it as if all The atoms in my body grew, and the sound went through me. And it was so transformative.  I decided to offer that if because we do, we’re human, we get frustrated sometimes, that if something is going on with your child that is triggering things that aren’t about that moment.

 If you take a breath and imagine all your cells and atoms expanding in whatever is just moving through you, it can be traffic, your husband, the neighbor’s lawn mower, or whatever, it is just letting that flow through you. It changed everything for me. And I found that there’s nothing that makes the resistance uncomfortable. And I know I kind of skipped around, but I wanted to make sure I remember that because everybody feels that way at some time or another. You probably remember those days.