How to find Happiness and Peace in everything you do

How to find Happiness and Peace in everything you do

Welcome to episode 16 of The Determined Mom Show. I am your host, Amanda Tento and today we have Lucy Liu from Lucy Liu Coaching. So tell us, how did you come to be a coach? “I started by unofficially coaching for probably five years by giving people advice. I am the type of positive person that you would come to for advice and people always ask how are you so positive? Like how are you able to see the positive in such negative events? 

I am in  Los Angeles but I am from Taiwan. It is a country in Asia and I moved here with my husband while back then my boyfriend when I had no relatives here, no friends and everyone asked me, how do you do it? How can you make such a big life transition?

That is a huge change to not only go from a different location to a different country and culture but even if you’re not moving geographically, we are going through transitions in our life all the time. We go from single to married. We go from being in school to maybe a working mom and then maybe owning our own business or even just different stages and different periods of life.

We are always in transition and the fundamental mindset work, the inner work is the same.” Yeah, that is so true and I never even thought of that but I’m one of those people, probably like you, that loves change. I look forward to those periods of transition because I am always craving that new experience. So I think that’s interesting and we are always going through them. I never even thought of that.

“I mean, we all say that we love surprises, right but sometimes when the surprise comes, when the change comes for you, you see it as a negative sign and then you think of it as a problem instead of a pleasant surprise. So it all has to do with your mind.”

Yeah. I agree. Completely and totally and I think it’s harder for us moms to feel that way to get into that mindset because we just have so much that our brain is on autopilot. Right? We are superwomen, we have superpowers. So when you were coaching, was it like your friends and family that were approaching you for coaching? 

“Well, that’s how I started. I was giving advice and I did not, honestly, I did not even know coaching was a career because where I came from none of my friends had coaches.

Then when I realized this is something I’m good at, I started looking into it and was like, wow, this is something I can do and it would be fulfilling for me to help others, especially since I am good at it. I want to be humble but yet as women, we want to be humble but yet we have to brag about ourselves. Right. Superpower so that we can help more women. I think owning what you’re good at makes you even better at it and I think we all, all good at something. I believe we are each here in this universe for something we’re meant to do.

I hear this word a lot. “I’m overwhelmed” but what is overwhelmed? these emotions include but they’re not limited to a mixture of anger. You might get angry at yourself. You might get angry at the situation or another person. It’s a mixture of those feelings and fear. There are all types of fear, right? Fears of change and there’s the feeling of guilt etc So it’s actually kind of difficult to understand and verbalize the exact source of the stress because it’s like a mixture.

So you kind of have to be very self-aware of what’s going on because circumstances are neutral. All the things that happen, are simply facts, things happen and they’re just facts. What emotion you associate with those facts becomes the emotion that you have towards the circumstance. So for instance, if your child does something and it provokes anger in you, then you’re going to react angrily but instead, you smile at it and think of a positive thing towards that, then it just goes away really quickly, very pleasantly.

Then you will not be overwhelmed. Another example is, if say you got fired, You’re all likely to start a new business. It could be the situation you got fired is simply a fact it happened and it happens to a lot of us, unfortunately. However, if you think of it as a negative event, you are going to be very stressed out and overwhelmed. You might feel life is crashing down but if you think of it as a positive event, you’re going to think, Oh wow, I get a month of vacation or the best opportunity for me to start my business.

So exactly the feeling we want to associate with these events in life and these facts will determine your outcome and your feelings. So you want to stop overthinking a lot of things.

It has been scientifically proven that I think emotions only last about 90 seconds. So you probably want to wait a little bit, maybe say two minutes to be safe. Before you say something or react to something and put your emotions into it.

So to seek happiness and be calm, you can try to do what you love. You can go somewhere quiet. You can have some nice music or you can do something that pumps you up and get you motivated into the next week.” That’s good advice. I love it. Is there anything else on mindfulness or mindset that you wanted to share with us?

You did talk about the To-Do List, right? “So you want to have a separate list for like the little things that you do, like errands. Those are like icing on the cake but you want to have your priority lists. Oh, if I just get one thing done today, I’m good. I’m celebrating. Like you want to have that type of attitude for me. I mean, of course, I have my schedules and goals and action items for the day but I always tell myself if I can just wake up and make my bed, I have done my job today. Then every day I wake up smiling and feeling like I accomplished my goals.

Like first thing in the morning, then I bring that kind of attitude into the day. So then it would attract all the right things into my life and I fully believe everything will happen. That is a very powerful way to wake up. Can you imagine how much our lives would shift and change? If we all woke up feeling like we’d already accomplished something. So if you want to feel calmer, you want to feel more confident. You want to be happier. All you have to do is like, make little changes, whatever you hear.

There’s tons of advice out there, right? You don’t have to listen to everyone and you know what? Everyone could be, right? For someone, all you have to do is pick what works for you. As for me, why do I wake up feeling good about myself because I go to sleep feeling good? I journal before I go to sleep daily.

I journal what I did that day but what’s more important is I journal my wins of the day. I journal my gratitude for the day so that I can go to sleep feeling like I’m a winner and I can go to sleep feeling very grateful for everything I have.

So if you are in that grateful state, when you wake up and you’re grateful to be awake. Is there a difference? I do gratitude journaling as well but I’ll do it as part of my morning routine. As we talked about, it’s 5:00 AM as we’re recording this where I am and I get up before my family.

I can have some like just peaceful time to do things and get things done and I do meditation and typically exercise and do my gratitude journaling. Is there, is it better to do the gratitude journaling in the evening? Well, I can’t say some people are morning people and some people are evening people. I don’t like to say it that way but whatever works for you, you can try it.

Maybe you can do the gratitude journaling tonight and see how that feels for you. I will try that and let you know if it works out better. So what is the big project that you have going on in your business right now? Well, I’ve been working with my clients on a one-on-one basis in the process of making my course, it would be in the form of life mastery, like all these different areas that we’re talking about, time management, goal, setting mindset, all the goodies, like all in one, so that it would be for women in transition but I feel it would be helpful for most women, a resource to go to whenever are kind of going through any change in life because I feel that’s a very vulnerable time to be in and I want to help women at this time.

Everything we talked about, I think could benefit anyone at any time and I, of course, significantly will help mothers and moms that own businesses, especially because we juggle so much and we’re constantly in that straight state of overwhelm and balance chasing but that course sounds amazing and you must let me know when it comes out, I’ll share it with our listeners and I will be taking it as well because I need you and where can everyone find you? I am hanging out mostly on Instagram and at M S L U C Y L I U that’s Miss Lucy Lu. Perfect and my website is LucyLiucoaching.com.

And right now I have a fraidy ebook on motivation and self-development, which also comes with a happiness, instant happiness tool kid. Oh, that sounds great. I’m going to go download that and they can find that on your website. I have one final question for you. What is your favorite part? Any kind of answered this earlier but what is your favorite part about being able to work at home and be with your daughter? I would say the freedom to be there for her whenever she needs me and I want to pass on my mindset to her.

I want to show her what a means, and what it takes to be a woman who strongly believes, in herself and wants to help and empower others. That’s very powerful and I think that’s a very, very powerful statement and a very, very powerful reason for you to be doing what you’re doing. So I think that’s great. Amazing. Well, Lucy, thank you so much for being on the show. You can find all of her information, I’ll link to all of her profiles and everywhere you can find her in the show notes. So then that way you can easily get to her and she would be a wonderful coach from everything you’ve heard.

I’m sure you can already tell that and she’s a super positive person and it was just a pleasure having you on the show. Thank you so much and to all the listeners, wonderful things are coming your way. Very good. Good. Thank you. This episode of the determined mom show is brought to you by online marketing for moms. The only marketing membership created, especially to teach mom business owners, SEO, and many other marketing tools, systems, and strategies joined today@onlinemarketingforbombs.com use code podcast to get 20% off of your monthly or annual membership.