Conscious Parenting Starts with deep inner work on yourself
Welcome to this episode of The Determined Mom Show. I have a very special guest, Gennye Anderzon, and she is here to talk to us about how conscious parenting starts with deep inner work on yourself.
I’m Jenny Lyon, and I live in the UK. I’m originally from Sweden and came to the UK in 1998. I have been on a spiritual journey. Since I was 15, so always been interested in this and now I work. For the past 20 years, I’ve been working as a mentor, a healer, and a coach doing the spiritual work and the deep work with people, usually women.
I help women. Become impactful leaders by deepening the work and helping them unlock their fullest potential. But I am also a mom. Mom. a mom that you say in, in, yeah. We say mom, and you say, Mom. Mom. This work that I do, I have a lot of clients, and I work with them and their children because I don’t announce that I work with children, but when they come to me, then if they have children and if there’s an issue, we also work on that.
It always starts with the parent if there’s an issue. This work is incredibly rewarding, liberating, and unlocking for the parent and family unit. It’s incredible.
We may not see that when it happens because we are stressed or angry about something else, or they’re pushing our boundaries, and they are, you know, all these things. Most parents know their children are there to teach them something, but they don’t understand it.
Always conscious parenting, for me anyway, means. I can reflect on what happened if there is an issue with the children and then go back to myself and see what it is in me. It triggers that it is not healed or has brought up some memories about something, you know? And then when I figure that out, go and address that by
Addressing for me, sometimes bringing awareness to it and then go, okay, I can see that now. It’s probably because I am stressed because I had very little sleep this week. So then, I don’t need to heal that. I need to make sure I sleep better. Side of things and really like engaging in games and things.
I had to start healing that, and I realized that because my mother worked full-time and my dad was, he wasn’t present, although when I did see him, he was present, so it was fine. I was on my lot. I didn’t have any adult to stimulate me or anything like this.
I was in care all the time. So I realized that I was unable to engage with the children on a deeper level because I needed to be more involved with them. So then I’ve had to go back and go, okay, so how can I do this? Could you make it fun for me as well? Because I wouldn’t say I like doing things that I don’t like doing.
So it’s like we can do Lego, but I wouldn’t say I like things. I then direct the game with the. Children so that I do something that I enjoy because that’s important. As parents, we shouldn’t feel guilty if we do not like a specific game because it’s just like, you don’t like it.
So then really, I suppose healing, so healing my past trauma, so I’ve, I, I, I am a healer, and I’ve had a lot of work and deep career. Then, I suppose abandonment. Although I wasn’t abandoned, that is the feeling of abandonment when your parents are not there.
Then he has done a lot of healing on that, and now it’s okay. Like, I don’t, I don’t feel like I can’t engage; I feel very engaged where it’s interesting. And then I also keep clear with the children. These things are less fun for me, but we can do this instead.
It’s not a problem. Yeah, but so what I mean there is that there are different levels of triggers in you as a parent that also could make you feel quite guilty if you don’t feel so engaged or don’t feel so stimulated because someone or society or some parent blog said that. Play with the children all the time.
And then you’re like, oh gosh, I’m not, I’m not enough. You’re always enough. That’s another thing. So all parents I speak to are like, you are always enough, and you always have to be you. So all my clients, I encourage them to, uh, not share their work, maybe with the children, but really let the children know what they do and what their parents love doing.
That’s so that they’re not just parents; they’re also. Maybe a coach or a healer or a creative or something else. And then involve the children in that if they’re interested. Necessary to show the children that you also are another person. Then the parent.
It has to be a combination. You know, the stability of the parents at home, whether they are engaged with you all the time, they wouldn’t be present.
It is grounding, you know, for the children. So this whole working-at-home business is brilliant because you have to find perfect boundaries from working from home. But once you’ve got that sorted out, once you can say to yourself, okay, working from home, it’s not bad.
As soon as you work from home and you have the children close, and you can just come out of the, you know, room when you’re finished, you, your presence is there. You are still there. It makes a huge difference. No, I think in the lockdown is, are you need to find that boundary, you know, so that they don’t, uh, they know when you’re working and stuff, but it’s, it’s, I think it’s a good thing, you know, have.
You’re more present. You know, you’re not away from home, or you’re more, you’re just more present. Yeah. It’s a good thing. It was almost like you either worked from home with minimal resources or didn’t work and stayed home.
And many moms still do this in the UK, where the dad works, and they and the mum are at home. It’s pretty common, and they might do a little job, but since Covid, so many of the moms there have got great jobs or their businesses, and they work from home and can do all of it now.
If there is a subconscious belief, a suppressed trauma or something inside that you feel is there, you know it’s from childhood. I recommend they have some work with somebody to release it. Coaching can also help uncover old subconscious things blocking you from moving forward.
As a parent, the self-love element is huge because you can only give from a full cup. When you do that and show your children that you honor and love yourself, they will do the same when they become parents, if they see. An overworked mom who’s stressed and never takes care of herself.
Maybe comfort eats not mean that anyone’s overweight, but just like, see these patterns of stress and tiredness. Yeah. Then they think that’s what the norm is, if the parent is like, no, it’s mom time. I’m going to have my massage. I will do these things, and you will feel good seeing your children.
It’s essential to take care of yourself as a mom. I also like another book, the Five Languages of Love and the Five Languages. Or touch, spending quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gifts.
Encourage your children’s intuitive gifts. Of course. If you. as a parent feel intuitive and you are into spiritual, uh, things. I encourage you to encourage that for the children as well. Mm-hmm. , because we are, we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not the other way around. Having children is often very open, and they’re loose when they get closed down.
I have a business program, but it depends on what, you know, how they come in, what, what they need. Often what happens is they go into the business program, and they realize they need it. They need to clear on the deeper levels and then do some work with me and then carry on with the business at the same time or, yeah, all the other way around as well.
Often what happens, a lot of my clients, they come in, they, sometimes they come from an ex-corporate environment or they come from a, a different environment, but they’re, they’re having a, a spiritual awakening. So they are thinking, oh, I need, I feel like I need this, you know, I need light body activations.
Where is the best place for people to connect with you online?
My website is Gennyelion. love, so precisely how I’m spelled, the name that you spell, spell my name, Gennyelion. love. And then I have my Facebook group. I like it, I am on Instagram and all the other places, but my Facebook group is, so it’s facebook.com groups.
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